Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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