I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
