cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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