After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
