I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
