Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
