Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
