I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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