took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
