How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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