he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
