Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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