The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
