so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
