if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
