Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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