I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
