The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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