He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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