All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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