I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
