I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
