They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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