I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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