what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
