omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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