Kareoke will never be a sober sport
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
