I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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