Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
