Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
