oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
