Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Randomize
