Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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