I will die if light touches me.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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