Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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