you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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