i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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