Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
