I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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