trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
