You're my little dorito
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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