your room smells of hookers.
And success
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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