I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
she peed on how many people?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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