you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
