she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
