it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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