Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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