Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You ate ashes out of my bong
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
