just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
