and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
