Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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